


The sea is bound to us

by cosmiceverafter



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: Angst and Feels, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, Finding their way back to each other, Forbidden Love, Friends to Lovers, Hidden Moments, Lost Love, Love, Memories, Regency Romance, Soulmates, Special Moments, period drama, remembering the past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28657662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmiceverafter/pseuds/cosmiceverafter
Summary: Charlotte and Sidney were both surprised when they fell in love in the seaside town of Sanditon. Unfortunately, circumstances pulled them apart. This is the journey of two soulmates finding their way back to one another, for fate is not through with them just yet.
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker
Comments: 137
Kudos: 219





	1. Drowning in love

**Author's Note:**

> I recently finished Sanditon, and while it was breathtakingly beautiful, the pain of the ending was a cut I wasn't prepared for. We observed Charlotte's face as she was whisked away in the carriage, but I wanted to capture Sidney's thoughts with his POV in the days that followed. It's a bit sad, but with pain comes moments of beauty as he remembers their relationship. I enjoyed writing for them, and if others would like, I might continue their journey with this story, following up with Charlotte's POV. All while, of course, hoping a second series is picked up. Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amid Charlotte leaving, Sidney confronts his affections for the extraordinary woman who left an imprint on his heart while contemplating how she ever slipped through his fingers.

Sidney couldn't recollect the exact day, hour, or moment as to when he fell madly in love with Charlotte Heywood, but he had, more profoundly than even he could comprehend. 

With her young views and innocent smile, Miss Heywood had waltzed into Sanditon with wondering eyes and a kind, open spirit. She entranced those around her easily as if it were like breathing. Everyone in her presence, especially his family, had become quite taken by her. 

On the contrary, Miss Heywood had cracked every nerve in Sidney's body. With a growing need to test her exact motive and nature that had openly and powerfully captured others, he instead pushed her limits.

Sidney wouldn't become one of them, the foolish folk bewitched by an ordinary country girl. 

_What a fool he had been._

Now, as Sidney looked over the cliffs to the sea below, he was sinking inside genuine emotions he had never associated with, or more had pushed away for what he had mistaken, for good. It carried him back to the beginning, the beginning of his undoing resulting in knowing Charlotte Heywood.

Sidney had long ago been hesitant to open his heart to anybody, but Miss Heywood was not just anybody.

Simply put, Charlotte was his _everything._ _Perhaps,_ he had thought, _she always had been._

In the moments upon the balcony when they'd exchanged their first words, before belittling his family with her assumptions, he had been curious by her. Sidney had hated that his heart traitorously skipped a beat in her presence and would continue doing so from that point forward; now within the present, Sidney would do anything to welcome it back once more. 

Due to someone new and feeling vulnerable, he fueled what he had mistaken as hatred, but now known to be falling in love.

Sidney, frightened by this emotion, had failed to hide behind a veil, which caused him to lash out towards Charlotte several times over. What he had found in the aftermath was that he felt utterly shameful for doing so. Yet, the young lady was abundant of unwavering bravery and matched him in battle. And although she had been relatively smaller than he, she had overwhelmed him completely. 

Attempting to escape these interactions while doing business in Sanditon, he presented himself scarce—that hadn't stopped fate. 

Miss Heywood had been everywhere Sidney had turned. It had been a comical wonderment he had imagined, from the universe itself. But the more he acted to be annoyed by her presence, the more he summoned her in. 

Sidney had begun opening up to her in added ways. It had terrified him, but he was not a coward. Sidney hadn't aspired for her to win over control, but the conversation between them became easy, while heated at times. Sidney recollected back, realized he sought out their time together. 

Charlotte arose a fire he had deemed Eliza had dimmed forever. 

Sidney found himself wanting to jest her more and more, only so Miss Heywood would provide him with that expression of hers; sweet wondering infliction raised with ruffled feathers. Not wanting to be misunderstood, Charlotte had been determined in her actions. As she pushed back with her witty comments, it merely engaged into a delightful fiery banter between the two. It was only then that Sidney had realized she was the strongest woman he had ever met. 

Miss Heywood would never back down from a challenge, and she'd be the first one to emerge with a helpful hand to anyone who obliged it. She strived for what she found true and right. Everyone inside her world and out mattered.

Sidney found that revelation _beautiful._

Miss Charlotte Heywood was a lovely soul. And yet, in many ways, an outlier like himself. Charlotte didn't need lavish balls to feel adequate or conversation to be a driving force. She simply was and lived each moment, not for others but herself. Sidney admired that about her and saw himself in her eyes, or more the man he strived to be. 

However, not all those around Miss Heywood positively saw her for who she was, and they hadn't deserved her. 

Eliza Campion, once the force of Sidney's axis, had cruelly ridiculed Charlotte's good heart only to expose her ugly blackened one. Whatever entertainment Eliza had been executing, it recoiled, making everything entirely apparent for the path Sidney had aspired to explore. 

_"A man cannot step into the same river twice."_ The words had escaped Sidney's mouth before he could have understood why, but Charlotte had finished them with a rhythm that connected them, _"For he is not the same man, and it is not the same river."_ This was the summit of awareness of whatever was to unfold. 

Sidney Parker was no longer the same man he had once been. Eliza Campion had initiated the unexpected change, and Charlotte Heywood had nurtured it into something he could be grateful and proud of. He had wanted Charlotte to know the effect she had on him, _"I'm a great deal less than perfect. You've made me all too aware of that. But, for whatever it's worth, I believe I am my best self, my truest self, when I'm with you."_

When Sidney had revealed on the boat why he couldn't comprehend the lack of happiness to what he deemed important, Charlotte once again exposed the only truth that mattered. _"I suppose it's just a question of compatibility."_

She had been accurate, of course, as she was wise beyond her years. Yet, Sidney, at the time, hadn't quite understood the meaning behind her words; though they ran throughout his veins. It was only when Eliza had attempted to reveal some trivial false truth, that Sidney had finally understood the reality.

_"Is that all I am to you? A source of amusement?"_

_"No, of course not, you're..."_ _The woman I love,_ his heart had concluded. He couldn't believe the thoughts that had surfaced, but he knew them to be valid.

Sidney loved Charlotte Heywood with every strand of his being. 

_"What is it you want from me?"_ _Everything._ Sidney had wanted to marry her in that instant, knowing he could live happily spending every day with her; talking of books and exploring circumstances that were beautiful and poetic. He wanted to endure quiet significances with her in his arms, gazing into those startlingly magnificent eyes of hers. He wanted a future with her, with her alone.

Sidney's heart had whispered what it had wanted all along; to belong in the arms of a farm girl with a bright, intelligent, and compassionate soul. 

Charlotte Heywood was _his_ match in every way... _she_ was the kindred spirit he had longed for yet forgotten. 

Her entire nature captured his every hope, and Sidney knew he was in turmoil when Charlotte had stared not just into his eyes but deep within his soul. She captured his gaze in so many moments they shared; the unspoken ones within the small hallways and in the larger rooms, their dances, while rowing, and so many others. It shook Sidney in every unimaginable manner. But unnervingly so, Charlotte had been the first person to truly _see_ Sidney.

She was his fire within, melting him piece by piece. Yet, Charlotte had not broken him; she had put him back together again. 

Sidney was whole once more because of _her._

Somehow Charlotte, accompanying her time here in Sanditon, had succeeded in melting his icy walls into a puddle of the unknown. 

It was perplexing as it was magical. 

Quite frankly, Miss Heywood consumed him; his every thought, desire, and hope for a better future. He wanted to give her the world as she had given him. 

But with all the good that she was, Charlotte had frightened him down to his core. She could undo him quickly without even knowing, and he was a man who understood competition for a worthy treasure. 

Mr. Stringer had his eyes set upon the lovely Miss Heywood, and Sidney had not only known this but realized if he hadn't taken the courage to make haste, then the possibility of losing what he desired would soon be a reality, not just a vision. 

That was why, above the crashing sea, Sidney had taken the plunge. _"Charlotte,"_ he had whispered her name with a vow to love and cherish, and with a sweet certainty, she replied with a following, _"Yes."_

He had taken the invitation to heart and gathered his love finally into his arms, kissing her. 

Sidney had wanted to be in control, careful even, but the instant their lips had touched, he was undone. His fear had come alive, and yet, he summoned it in. Sidney succumbed to the control he had managed to grasp, and it washed away into the sea. 

To want someone, this significantly, was something Sidney had never recognized. A decade of wanting a ghost was nothing in comparison to this angelic creature now in his arms. 

Charlotte was _real. She_ was his dream come to life. 

Sidney had needed Charlotte to observe his soul; what she had come to be within his frozen heart. When her soft lips had trembled underneath his own, making a small sigh of relief, he knew it to be true. 

_Charlotte Heywood felt as he did._

It was singlehandedly the happiest moment of his life. 

Sidney knew they had no chaperone, and he knew this wasn't proper, for they weren't engaged, but Sidney couldn't bother to care in the slightest. 

Charlotte was there, warm and loving in his embrace, wanting what he so badly desired. 

Sidney felt on top of the world. 

_Could it be that even he could fall deeper into love for this woman who had changed the course of his life? Yes._ It was conceivable and proceeded with the progress of their lips. 

True undying happiness had knocked at his door once more—he could still see Charlotte's breathtaking face even now as he closed his eyes. 

Hell, Sidney could see her face in every flower, every song, and in every dream he inhibited. His thoughts of her never left. They were with him always, and he would be a fool ever to think he'd be rid of them, nor did he want them to, even amidst the stinging realization they brought. 

Sidney had wanted to give Charlotte Heywood the world, _his world_ , a universe in which they could share, but fate was not finished with him, as it would seem. 

With fleeting happiness, now brought haunting sorrow so profoundly, Sidney knew he'd never recover again. The drink from the nightly bottle didn't prove to be a success as it only deepened his desires for the one woman he _actually_ wanted. 

Sidney laughed without humor at believing he had ever truly loved Eliza. He had been young, naive, and fell for deep surface appeal. But below the exterior, she had not changed nor improved. Eliza had not matured and still only cared for herself. She did not make him want to be better for this life, not like Charlotte had. 

The truth of the matter was this—Sidney gave up the only woman he ever truly loved, all in regards to family duty. At that moment, Sidney wanted to throw his family name into the sea, seeing it wash away with this clawing sense of obligation. 

But just like the fish caught into the fisher's tangled net, he was trapped as well.

_"She loves you, and you've agreed to marry her. You must try to make her happy."_

_"Yes. Yes, you're right. I have to fulfill my side of the bargain."_ The promise had made him utterly sick. 

Pain, so severe, stung his body as he replayed their last words spoken. For a passing second, as Sidney recalled her carriage driving her away from him with his heart, he ached to throw himself into the waves as well. But Sidney understood he had to serve his family to the best of his abilities, even though he would vanish a little more with each growing day. 

Sidney comprehended he wouldn't be underwater in the given sense, but truthfully, he would be drowning for the rest of his miserable days. 

At one given time, Sidney had been reborn on this cliff when he had taken Charlotte into his arms, and now he was standing in the same location feeling as though he had been shot in the heart. It hurt so tortuously that he looked behind him to perceive a trail of blood. _Nothing._

As if destiny understood his pain, a storm was now covering the sky. The once blue skies were a turmoil of dark grey, and the towering roar of thunder severed his heart further. As the wind beat harshly against his cheeks, Sidney felt wetness fall down his face. 

It had not been the wind to cause these tears; it had been the remaining fractured pieces of his heart.

 _"Charlotte..."_ he whispered again into the cold abyss. _Could she hear him?_ Sidney hoped Charlotte could still feel him, for he thought of her always by his side. She was now the ghost of what could have been.

Charlotte would remain that way, a shadow solely at his side, until he took his last remaining breath on this earth. 

The waves moved back-and-forth as the beating of one broken heart. Here he could be secluded with the memory of her. It was the proof he truly had lived, if only for a moment. This alone was their love story. 

For they were forever bound together by the sea.


	2. Underneath the willow tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte reminiscing and wondering if she'll ever recover from the void of a lost love within her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost, thank you so much for all the positive comments and kudos; it truly meant so much to me. It's why I'm continuing this story. They deserve their happy ending, and so do all of you. This story will have several chapters, so I hope you enjoy the journey to HEA.

Charlotte gathered outside underneath her beloved willow tree reading one of her countless books. The wind was gently caressing the field of blue flowers that surrounded her. She used to feel peace in this place; now, Charlotte felt nothing but an unsettling disdain. 

It hadn't been the place that had changed...it had been _she_ who had transformed. 

Closing her eyes, Charlotte imagined a world where romance wasn't just in fairytales but more of a reality without heartbreak. 

But she, a simple countryside girl, had a taste of that, hadn't she? Ever so fleeting, but it had been there, circling her like the crisp wind. 

_Sidney..._

Falling in love, the way you read about in books, was as simple and as complicated as sleeping, battling within your nightmares. 

If someone had informed her that she would've fallen for Sidney Parker, she would have laughed at them, as rude as it may have been. 

Nevertheless, it had been the truth. 

At first glance, Sidney had been as handsome as his portrait, even more so. But while the exterior shined, the inside had been a darkened spirit even she had not prepared for. 

Sidney had challenged her every move, assumption, and idea. He belittled and harshly assessed her for who and what she was...or so she thought. In reality, _she_ had judged him. 

How naive she had been. With her inexperience for the world, she painted a false representation of what was indeed not truly there. 

Over time, Charlotte had discovered that Sidney was an astonishing man with a heart of gold, as she soon observed to be, even though Mrs. Campion had fractured it years ago. 

Slowly, Sidney had let Charlotte in, piece-by-piece, and that action had surprised her to no end. It was as if he wanted her to see the real Sidney Parker, not the one she had created in her mind. Charlotte had wanted more than anything for the man beside her to reveal his true nature, for he was not insensible of feeling. 

It was then and only then that she had fallen completely in love. 

Charlotte hadn't realized how deep of waters she had been in until Mrs. Susan had revealed the truth to her in London. She had never been truly apprehensive around Sidney, which she admired about herself—even in moments of pure embarrassment like down at the cove. However, with the affliction of feelings and the revelation that came into fruition, she found their dance to be sensual and full of a desire, something Charlotte had never explored before; a new territory for a farmer's daughter. 

No more were the awkward looks or conversation; this dance had been so very different compared to their first. Instead, they had gazed and smiled at one another, and Charlotte knew what Susan said to be true. 

There had even been a moment when Charlotte thought Sidney had burned for her as well. He hadn't let go of her hand immediately after the dance, and the way he continued looking at her stole her breath away. 

But that notion had all but collapsed when a certain woman came waltzing back into Mr. Parker's heart once more. Charlotte was seeing glimpses of a man he used to be, when around this toxic soul, and yet he had been blinded by love, or so she thought. 

When they had been on the boat together, and he had stroked her waist, moving her hands into his, she had considered it once more; the gaze he had delivered was a memo in their story: Two outliers who understood one another, having also a love for writers such as Heraclitus with the written words of meaning. This unique collection, one of two people who finally saw each other, was one she had begun to cherish. 

Charlotte felt it—she knew with certainty he did, too. 

And she had been correct, for Sidney had revealed that Charlotte was the one he could be his truest form around, not Eliza Campion. 

Sidney chose _her,_ Charlotte Heywood, a simple girl who was outspoken on what she considered dear, who loved reading books, and someone who cared little of wealth.

He loved _her_ back. A proposal was on their minds—this could be it, a happily ever after for them both. 

However, it hadn't been enough because once more was the realization that fairytales solely live within the pages of dusty old books. 

It had been a little over a month since she had seen him in Sanditon. It was also where she left had her heart—upon the grassy cliff. What beat in her chest now was a hollowed shell of what it once was. 

She observed the pain rush to her heart as she imagined them bestowing their only kiss above the sea. 

It had, without a doubt, been the most romantic significance of her life. 

But as a sheltered girl would soon learn, the romance didn't last, or what was more, it seldom altered nothing. 

What reality proved was that scheming, gambling, betrayal, and money were forever, not quiet moments in the arms of the one you truly loved most. 

The most unfortunate part about it was that she understood. Charlotte didn't blame Sidney—how could she when he was selfless? 

He had sat there, the man she loved, in front of her with eyes full of emotion, telling her if there were any other way, he'd do it, and yet there hadn't been. While his family had been rejoicing in their savior, Charlotte had witnessed how broken he appeared to be. Even as they had momentarily crossed paths at Lord Babington and Esther's wedding, it had been one of formality. And yet, underneath the outside facade, she understood he was hurting as she had. 

_"I don't love her, you know."_

What good would that thought do now, the one that haunted her day-and-night? 

Charlotte acknowledged that memory as she sat back against the tree in Willingden. Closely following was the nightmare of her love soon to be getting married. Sidney had to if he were to use the money to save the beloved Sanditon—a bargain was a bargain after all, as he had stated. 

_It made her sick to her stomach._

She did her very best since returning home to push it out of her mind, the whole ordeal, and as she attempted, she faltered at every turn. 

Every conversation, every song, every bit of nature, took her back to loving Sidney Parker. 

_It was no use._

Her family was concerned about her, but they knew better than to keep summoning. What they did apprehend, especially Alison, it was that she had gone through something immense in the small beach town of Sanditon, an encounter that had transformed her for good. 

_Did she regret her time there?_ No, of course not. 

However, did she regret falling in love with Sidney Parker? _Yes, yes, she did, for_ he would be happy falling back into love with his old flame while Charlotte suffered in agony. This doing was one of Charlotte's for she had told him that he couldn't love her, and he had to try with Eliza. 

Silently, Charlotte cursed at herself. Selfishly, she wanted to yell into the abyss that she didn't give a damn about Sanditon, even though it was more than a lie, and that she wanted Sidney to fight for her, for their happiness. 

Charlotte plucked a flower and blew the petals away, wishing it could be the pain she underwent. 

Even though she had been hurt beyond measure, Charlotte felt she no longer belonged on this farm. Her heart, being on the cliffs of Sanditon, was where she wanted to be. 

_But what would that solve?_ She would ache from loneliness and the reminder of what could've been. Then there was a simple truth that Sidney and Eliza would often visit Sanditon and the Parker family. 

No, she couldn't go back, nor could she go to London, not that she desired anyway. 

It wasn't just Sidney that she missed though. Charlotte missed the entire Parker family, Georgiana, and Mr. Stringer, even though his feelings for her complicated matters a bit. 

She missed the sea, plants, window shops, events, and the quaint charm of Sanditon. 

When she had walked on the beach watching the waves, Charlotte finally felt as though she belonged. It had been a warm embrace, one that pained her now. 

Charlotte longed to be on her own and gain the independence she hadn't had before. She felt part of a movement in Sanditon, a society in the making. It felt like home there, even though it had broken her.

Shaking her curls back-and-forth, Charlotte knew it was no use wishing and dreaming for a different outcome. _What was done was done._

From out of nowhere, she heard her friend Susan's speech chime in her ear, _"You must not lose heart. The race is not yet run."_

_Tears stung her eyes; that was the problem, you see, it was challenging to lose heart when it was already lost._


	3. Ready to fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte travels to London with her father and sees a familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for the lovely comments. I do love reading them! 
> 
> Going forward, I'll be shifted between Charlotte and Sidney's POV throughout the chapters. 
> 
> Also, after reading this latest chapter, you'll see I don't care much for Mrs. Eliza Campion. I believe her true colors are really coming through; an extension of what we observed in 1x07. 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter, things are moving now!

**_Two weeks later_ **

Charlotte couldn't believe she had agreed to go with her father to London. He obliged to gather more property from a trader in the city, and he inquired her assistance since she was the eldest. 

She had been anxious to look too closely at the men strolling by, in fear she'd run into Mr. Parker, even though that's all her heart truly hoped for. 

As her father tended to his business with a few bankers and property managers, Charlotte decided to wander around the city a bit, looking in window shops. 

Everything was bigger and more elegant than she remembered from her time searching for Georgiana, and yet, she yearned for Sanditon and the charming atmosphere it brought. 

She thought of Georgiana in that instant, regretting she hadn't recently written her back. The truth was that she had been so full of grief that even the simplest daily functions were challenging for Charlotte. 

"It cannot be!" A voice in the distance called out. 

Charlotte shifted to see Lady Worcester beaming at her, bags in hand. "Lady Susan!"

As her friend guided her into a tender embrace, she inquired, "What honor brings you to London, Miss Heywood?"

"I'm here with my father. He's attending to do business with more traders for our land expansion."

"Very prosperous indeed," Susan smiled kindly. "And how are you, my dear?" Her face fell slightly, "I heard the news of Mr. Parker and Mrs. Campion." 

Agony indeed stabbed into her empty heart. _How could Charlotte possibly begin to explain the depths of this terrible loss?_

"Yes... _uh,_ I wish them every happiness."

Lady Susan lifted a perfectly arched eyebrow, "My dear, you and I are way beyond the frivolous facade, wouldn't you say?" 

Charlotte sighed, heavy and deep, "You're correct, Lady Susan, I apologize." Her sympathizer waited patiently. "I'm taking each day as it comes, but I fear time will never mend my heart as it once was." 

After a moment of silence, Lady Worcester took Charlotte's hands into her own, "Dear friend," she clutched tightly, "while I'm so regretful for what you have endured, do you not recall what I told you before we last parted?"

Charlotte remembered, _of course,_ but what was the aim in fighting for what was now a lost conviction? "It's no use, Susan. It's _too_ late...if _only_ you understood." 

"I understand completely. _When it comes to love...?"_

 _"There is no such thing as a foregone conclusion,"_ Charlotte finished solemnly. 

"Exactly, my dear girl," Lady Susan grinned lightheartedly. "I'll have you know that I saw Mr. Sidney Parker, not but a week ago, and I must conclude that he is in agony. Mr. Parker doesn't fancy marrying Mrs. Campion—that much is evident." 

"That's the piece you don't understand," Charlotte replied, shifting back-and-forth uncomfortably as she looked down at her feet. 

"Please, then help me too." 

Charlotte exhaled deeply, uncertain she should tell information meant to be private, "After a fire destroyed a section of the village, Mr. Tom Parker is in quite a comprehensive debt. The very nature of Sanditon is in crisis, and Mr. Sidney Parker, being selfless, was obliged to attach himself to Mrs. Campion to support the funds necessary." She bit her lip, "It is out of family duty, not love, you see." 

"Well, the predicament is grave indeed," Lady Susan frowned, but then shook her head. "Nevertheless, it shouldn't be the reason to part true love."

"Unfortunately, it is reason enough. Sanditon is of great importance to the Parker family," Charlotte replied, raising her head high, "it's the only way."

"No, my dearest Charlotte, it is not." 

Now it was Charlotte's turn to frown, "Whatever do you mean?"

"Come, spend the day with me, and then this evening, you'll accompany me to Lord McKinney's ball, and I shall betow upon you a wondrous idea made into a heroic plan." 

_What plan?_

Then Charlotte's thoughts went to the last ball she had gone to in London, she had not only felt like an outcast, but she had also fallen in love with Sidney and witnessed his old flame reappearing unto his life. 

Charlotte wasn't sure she could go through such a thing again. 

"I'm afraid I simply cannot," Charlotte replied. "As I am here supporting my father."

"I daresay, he wouldn't mind his eldest daughter going out into society for one night, perhaps taking a glimpse for a potential suitor."

"But I'm not looking for a suitor."

"Ah," Susan beamed mischievously, "but he'll be looking at _you."  
  
_

* * *

"I'm not certain how to be any more precise. I'm not attending!" Sidney exclaimed, banging his whiskey onto the wooden end table. 

Eliza scowled, her eyebrows becoming pinched in an unattractive manner, "What possible reason would you have to decline such an offer?" 

His betrothed had come over to his London house demanding more of him, per usual. Eliza never considered what _he_ wanted or desired from life, solely worrying about herself. 

It was a nightmare which their future beheld. 

Perhaps in another lifetime, Sidney would've gladly become what she envisioned of him, but he was not that man, not anymore. 

For a while, Sidney had embedded on an act of artificial happiness, but it was draining him. Over the last few weeks, what transpired between the two of them, was met with disdain. They continuously seemed to quarrel, never having moments of unity. 

Sidney observed the grandfather clock tick back-and-forth, and he finally glanced over at his fiancé. 

"Eliza, we've been through this," he explained, wiping his forehead as if he could sense the headache forming as they had every night for the past week, "I have no interest in these trivial balls. It's the same crowd of people coveting the same discussions that never seem to end." Sidney exhaled deeply then took another sip of his drink even though it was early afternoon, "It's unnecessary if you want the truth of it." 

Again, her frown deepened, "As my fiancé, it's customary to attend such events. We need to make our appearance within society. You know how it's done." Sidney scoffed, shaking his head, yet she continued on her ferment, "When you asked for my hand, I assumed you understood this." Eliza sighed dramatically, "I have not changed, nor have my ambitions, not from all those years ago. But what is apparent is the fact that _you_ have changed." She shook her head, "Then again, you have no experience with this sort of thing."

 _"Marriage?_ You're right, I _don't,"_ he glared back. _She had made sure of that, hadn't she?_

Eliza just gave him a look of disgust, smoothing her hair down as she caught her reflection in the mirror. "That doesn't change the fact that when I agreed to marry you, you were signing up to be a part of this world. Was that not the deal we made?" She walked up closer towards him, "I know you enjoyed all this once upon a time, perhaps, I daresay, before you started visiting _Sanditon."_

_There it was_. Sidney knew she would bring it up sooner than later. That blow hadn't been about a place at all, but rather a person. 

_How could he have thought she ever understood the real him?_ Sidney rolled his eyes, "If you ever believed I enjoyed such frivolous affairs, then you never knew me at all, dearest." 

"I do not care for that tone, Sidney Parker," Eliza warned, as she waved her hand in his direction, dismissing him. 

Sidney had gotten used to this expression all too well. He knew he was being an arse, but he couldn't be bothered enough to care. 

Truth be told, he was still an empty shell, attempting to get through one minute to the next. 

_It was unbearable._

As Sidney gazed upon her, he couldn't fathom how he ever thought he had loved her. _He was such a fool._ That hadn't been true love, not like what he felt with— _no,_ he couldn't think of Charlotte, not if he wanted to continue breathing. 

He couldn't think of her windblown curls, her perfect soft lips, which tasted of sweet honey, or how she smelled of flowers after it had rained. Then there were her wide eyes full of wonder, her fierce wild spirit, or that beautiful, compassionate smile that made him feel at ease in her company. 

Sidney clutched his chest from the pain of her memory, not for the first time. _No,_ he reminisced of Charlotte Heywood every moment of every day. It was a blessing and a curse. 

"I have already accepted the invitation on our behalf," Eliza asserted, interrupted his hauntingly gratifying thoughts. "Besides, your two friends shall be there if that makes a lick of difference."

 _Lovely,_ so now he would gain more profound sympathy from Babbington and Crowe. Sidney didn't ask for that, nor did he welcome it. He refused to be a damn charity case. 

Babbington had witnessed where his heart truly had been as he had caught Sidney gazing upon the woman he truly loved. 

And Crowe, while usually drunk, knew the difference between fact from fiction.

However, Sidney's comrades identified him well enough to understand why he had consented to this horrific agreement for his brother's sake. 

All in the name of family. Which reminded him once again, he had to _try_ for the welfare of Sanditon. 

Sidney had made his family and Eliza a promise. It was his bargain to uphold. 

_Dammit to hell._

Putting on his best false smile, he nodded, "As you wish. What time shall I call the carriages around?" 

* * *

That afternoon had been overwhelming in and of itself. 

Not being prepared for such events, Charlotte was out of her element, not for the first time here in London. 

After conversing with Susan, they had located her father, who had been pleased to make Lady Susan's acquaintance and rather thrilled that she wanted to take Charlotte to such a gathering. 

Charlotte felt disappointed that her father had agreed to Susan's proposition of Charlotte staying in London and returning home after a few days' time. 

When she had dragged him away for a moment of privacy to investigate this, he had softly brushed his daughter's face, "My sweetest flower, you have been a ghost of the daughter I once knew. Your mother and I have not inquired knowing why, but it pains us so profoundly. Please, provide yourself to discover the joy in the unknown. Be happy in this life you live now." 

Tears had filled her eyes, but he had been ever so accurate, of course. No longer could she accept half of a life. 

Sidney Parker may not be her forever, but that didn't mean she'd allow herself to remain broken. She was stronger than that; Charlotte would prove the subject. 

However, it was easier said than done. 

After parting from her father, Susan had taken her to many different boutiques and found her the loveliest dress. It was made of emerald lace, with a fitted bodice that swelled to the floor. They added a thin black lace necklace with a pearl pendant and matching pearl earrings. However, it was the shimmering golden heels that mesmerized Charlotte; she couldn't glance elsewhere. 

Charlotte had strived to pay, but Mrs. Susan wouldn't hear of it. After all, she had stated, _she_ had invited Charlotte as _her_ guest. 

After a day of shopping, they had resigned to Mrs. Worchester's estate on the outskirts of London. It had been extravagant in beauty and grace. The property full of green rolling hills as far as the eye could see and a beautiful lake that Charlotte dreamed to read by. 

When they had retired in the drawing-room for tea and biscuits, Susan had announced Lord McKinney himself would be visiting. 

His wife had died a few years prior during childbirth, but Susan had gone on about what a good man he was. 

Susan's thoughts to save Sanditon were to engage with investors who would relish an interest in the town as a whole, seeing the appeal of a fresh new society, and what better way than starting with Lord McKinney himself. 

The plan made Charlotte uncomfortable, to say the least, but Susan would see to it to be done. 

Charlotte had to admire her strength of will. 

When Lord McKinney had arrived, Charlotte couldn't help but feel startled. 

The man was a younger gentleman and a handsome one at that. 

He was tall with a slender physique, dressed classy and yet carefree as he had arrived by his horse. Lord McKinney's hair was a wavy, deep sandy color. Charlotte couldn't help but notice that his eyes were a beautiful shade of blue, like sea glass. 

The man himself looked as though he belonged in Sanditon. 

_How ironic._

Lord McKinney bowed to Susan, and they exchanged pleasantries. Then his eyes shifted towards Charlotte and widened ever so slightly. 

"And who might this be?" 

"This, _my Lord_ , is Miss Charlotte Heywood from Willingden. She is visiting. Charlotte is a dear friend of mine with whom I met here in London and then had the pleasure of spending more time with at the lovely seaside town Sanditon." 

Lord McKinney courteously smiled with a small bow, "I'm delighted to make your acquaintance, Miss Heywood." 

"The pleasure is mine, Lord McKinney," Charlotte replied with a clumsy curtsy. 

He paused momentarily before speaking again, "So Sanditon, you say? I have heard it is quite impressive there, yet I haven't had the pleasure to visit." 

"You simply must," Charlotte responded swiftly, identifying the excitement she suddenly felt. "It's a wondrous area. They recently had the most incredible regatta."

"Charlotte assisted in organizing it, and indeed it was an amazing success," Susan added with a wink in Charlotte's direction. "Sanditon is becoming a hidden treasure." 

"Is that so? Then, I daresay, that's even more ground to visit." His smile lingered as he appeared to take Charlotte in with a wandering gaze, "Will you be attending my gathering tonight, Miss Heywood? You are, of course, welcomed." 

"She most certainly is," Susan stated before Charlotte could answer. _What was her friend doing?_ Even though Lord McKinney was handsome enough, Charlotte's heart remained with another, and Susan knew this to be true.

"Then I must ask if you'll save me your first dance?" 

Charlotte swallowed and looked at Susan, who nodded. Not wanting to be offensive, Charlotte agreed, "Of course, Lord McKinney. It would be my utmost delight to accept your offer." 

_"Excellent,"_ he replied happily. He nodded towards the table, "Shall we?"

The three then enjoyed an assortment of treats and Charlotte had to admit that Susan was gifted at gaining what she desired. 

Lord McKinney planned to visit Sanditon within the week and said he'd see about investing in the town as well as spreading the news to his associates. 

Charlotte stood quickly, feeling exasperated after he had parted, "Mrs. Susan, I must ask you of something."

"And what would that be, my dear?"

"Whatever are you arranging? I feel as though you've put me in the path of Lord McKinney, knowing well enough that I'm not interested in finding a suitor." 

"My dear girl, playing the game is all a part of the battle." 

Charlotte grimaced, _"Battle?_ Whatever do you suggest?"

"In getting your Mr. Parker back."

 _"No,_ Susan, no," Charlotte exclaimed, shaking her head. "I told you...he has requested for Mrs. Campion's hand in marriage. I won't disrespect him so." 

"You'll be doing nothing of the sort," Susan responded, sipping her tea. "I just consider the truth that Mrs. Campion needs to recognize who Miss Heywood can be."

"I'm not sure— _wait_ , Mr. Parker and Mrs. Campion will be there?"

"Why, _of course_ , anybody who's anybody shall be, even though I tire of these gatherings. However, Lord McKinney's are always an enjoyment." Taking another sip from her tea, she added, "You shall have a lovely time." 

Charlotte began pacing the room, pushing her hair away from her face, "I couldn't possibly." 

"Please do not fret, Charlotte. You must understand that even in marrying Mrs. Campion, it would not truly be enough to save Sanditon. Over time, they would need these investors. You are doing nothing wrong." 

Charlotte bit her lip and clasped her hands together tightly. Her eyes started blinking rapidly. 

_It was all too much._ Charlotte did not want to manipulate Sidney; he was too valuable to her. 

Susan stood up as if noticing Charlotte's dismay and accompanied her, taking Charlotte's hands into her own, "My dear, listen, all will be well, I promise you." Susan took a deep breath, "Please, I know we have only known each other a short while, but trust me when I say I have seen who you truly are. You are wild and free at heart; it's what drew me to you, my dear. We don't see it often hereabouts in London. I can only imagine the world requires to experience you, Miss Charlotte Heywood." She squeezed reassuringly, "This isn't a tactic against Mr. Parker, his family, or Sanditon. If anything, it'll all but assist the survival of Sanditon."

Susan turned Charlotte around to face a large mirror on the wall. "You aren't doing this for them though, do it for _you._ I fear that spirit within you is diminishing, your father, and I presume your family has witnessed it, too. Instead, carry yourself and shine bright like the sun; that same quality that would stop at nothing to save her friend." 

As Charlotte looked towards her reflection, she finally smiled a genuine smile. 

_There she was...she had been there all along, hadn't she?_

_Yes,_ Charlotte would be free as a bird, learning she had wings.

Charlotte knew at that moment that she was ready to start living again. 

She was ready to fly. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this story and would like more with these two, please let me know with kudos and comments! They're always appreciated. 
> 
> You can also visit me on my Tumblr: stydiaeverafter


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